Home to the Highlands

We Are our grandmother's prayers
We Are our grandfather's dreaming
We are the breath of the Ancestor's
We Are the Spirit of God

We are mothers of courage,
fathers of time
Daughters of dust,
sons of great visions
We're sisters of mercy,
brothers of love,
Lovers of life and
builders of Nations
We're seekers of truth
and keepers of faith
Makers of peace,
wisdom of ages

Chorus: For each child that's born,
A morning star rises and sings to the universe,
Who we are We are one....
Sweet Honey in the Rock
*~*~*~~**~*

We are called to pull up to full conscious waking life, this knowledge that is so much a part of who we are but not yet fully integrated and applied in our day-to-day lives. We are on an epic journey. Shortly after learning that my womb is in jeopardy, I encounter Jack.

Jack is not the first young man I have met lately who appears to me to be very 'awake'. I had an experience of him at the dinner table in a crowded restaurant when he asked me, with a palpable softness; "What is the Highlands like? His eyes in that focused question cracked something in me, turned a key.

My visceral response was a tender upwelling of my deep deep love of the Highlands. What I saw in his eyes was what I had seen in my own eyes only days before (for the first time): some vast and profoundly beautiful being looking straight out at me.

When I got my womb diagnosis/prognosis, it was from an MD of sufficient depth. Together we discern that something is going on here, that I am profoundly tuned into it, and that it is connected to my grandmother's grief from giving up her sons because her preacher husband said she was needed at his side for the "Lord's work" (and his babies weren't). We connected with my hard anger towards him and the fact that this story goes back further than these two characters in my lineage.

We first thought I would embark on a course of acupuncture and Chinese herbs (which I did immediately) whilst continuing with the ongoing psychic/spiritual processing personally, with my husband, and with whomever else. The plan was to reduce the mass to a size where I could go home to Scotland and have the rest removed surgically and hopefully at that point, save my womb.

We identified that I was supposed to do this part of the journey with my mum (big tears of confirmation). I already had plans to be in NY in mid-April and we agreed, this was an appropriate period of time for me to do everything I was prompted to do prior to the surgery (give me the best chance to work with it from every other angle I was guided to do). The space opened up for this timing/trip to Scotland without any resistance and felt exactly right to everyone in the picture. Within 24 hours I had received information that clued me into the reality that I (almost certainly) am not going home for surgery but going to the Highlands with my mum for a completion in this deep healing journey. My mum (surely one of my medicine women) was right there in her response (that sounds lovely dear..) - clear passage again.

I have learned over time to really pay attention to my 'inklings', which means attempting to put words to emerging realities while they are still terribly fragile and not fully in form. The Highland journey was certain now, though the details were not.